I figured I'd start up a rousing game of king of the hill and see if it catches on.



How To Play:

Everyone tries to become "King of the Hill" within a single post wherin they must also depose the most recent "king of the hill".

Kings may be deposed through any means imaginable.

Upon becoming king, the new king may "build defenses" of some kind that make it more difficult for anyone else to usurp their throne.

Additionally, posters may also apply status effects to other posters. (I pushed the king off the hill and they fell on ___ breaking both ___'s leg and the king's arm).

Anyone with a negative status effect must also overcome/deal with their status effect, whatever it may be, when they try to re-take the hill.



It is important to remember that the landscape and defenses transfer between posts, so if somebody digs a hole in one post, that hole remains until someone fills it in. The same goes for status affects. Unless someone explicitly explains that their broken leg got better, They will continue to have a broken leg.





Rules: ( * = recently modified/added due to an apparent necessity.)

1: You may only respond to the most recent comment (since it's only possible to depose the most recent king)



2: Defenses cannot simply be ignored. (If somebody surrounds themselves with walls, you cannot just walk up and push them off the hill.)

2.1: You must therefore explain how you overcame the king's defenses before you can proclaim yourself as king.



3: If you are given a lasting negative status effect (i.e. broken leg), you may not "get better" until you have become king despite your status effect at least once.

3.1: Posters may also apply positive status effects to themselves and other posters if they should so desire, as long as they can somehow justify it. (I can fly now because ___)





* 4: After someone else posts, you may not edit your previous posts, ever. Otherwise, you may be free to edit if you spot a hole in your own post.

4.1: If someone manages to usurp the current king before you submit your post, you must delete everything you wrote and attempt to usurp the new king.

4.2: Out of courtesy, if you notice a pile up, allow the previous poster time to fix their post before commenting yourself.



5: Obviously, regular forum rules still apply. Keep things clean and don't get hostile.



*6 If you notice someone breaking any of these rules, you are free to point this out. If a post, for example, ignores a defense or somthing like that, you are free to point out the error and disregard their post entirely, mocking them by explaining how they just slammed their face into the wall they forgot about.

*6.1 To keep things easy and simple, try to keep the story of your exploits short. People WILL skim read if things get too long, (like I did by mistake once), so lets keep things snappy.



Restrictions

Normally, several restrictions are given to keep things from getting too crazy, keep things within a certain theme and to force people to think creatively within limitations. This game, however, shall only have two:

1. No Teams allowed.

2. Nobody may kill anyone else.

ANYTHING ELSE GOES

I spot a hill a climb up. Not seeing anyone else around, I proudly proclaim that I am King and defy anyone who would contest my rule!

I present the King of the hill with a nice red carpet as a gesture of good will.



Upon them stepping on this soft and plushy red carpet, I pull the rug out from under their feet, and watch as they roll to the bottom of the hill.



It seems that I am King of the hill, and with a nice red carpet, to boot! I make myself a crown with the wild flowers growing on top of that beautiful, serene hill.

As a humble servant to the King of the Hill, I present the latest declaration for him to sign. After the King makes his three X-signature, I present his self-signed interment order to the sanitarium to the big and bulky male nurses I hid beyond a trapdoor under the red carpet. It took quite a time to dig that tunnel without him noticing... The helpful medical engineers constitute a honor guard in white for the ex-King in his tight straitjacket on his way to the rubber-cell kingdom.

Now I am the King of the Hill, immediately ordering the trapdoor tunnel to be sealed with concrete, a castle with thick walls to be erected in my honor and a minefield to be placed before the inevitable castle moat with crocodiles, since We are Paranoid!

After brushing myself off from my tumble down the hill, I look up to find several rather large building projects all taking place simultaneously.

As loyal subject to the king, I gladly join in with the ranks of builders. The ditch for the crocodile moat is completed first, after which I am assigned the task of laying stones for the wall around the hill.

With the walls completed, the moat filled and the minefield armed, the king and his royal subjects all gather for celebration within the kingdom's walls. It is then that I make my move.

Having become acquainted with the king's neglected nurses of the now defunct sanitarium, I draw the king's use of the "royal we" to their attention and cite it as evidence of his apparent split personality disorder. Not wanting to be ruled by a king of questionable mental health, they readily agree to stage a coup with me.



As the king steps on the royal red carpet, he is launched into the air by the spring trap we had hidden underneath the carpet. The king is catapulted well outside the domain of the kingdom on the hill and, in his absence, I proclaim myself as king.

Dawning the now traditional floral crown, I set into action the first law of the land and make it illegal for anyone but the king to be within the walls surrounding the hill. Having opened the gate and lowered the drawbridge for my followers to pass through, I close the gate and raise the bridge, ensuring that I shall not be meddled with by some sly subject vying for the crown.



Sitting alone on the red carpet upon my hill and finding it rather uncomfortable, I relocate a rather large rock and set it on the top of the hill to serve as my throne. I place this rock securely on top of the royal red carpet, thereby ensuring that I shall never again have the rug pulled out from under me, at least not by anyone of normal human strength.

Grumbling in the air while flying, I wait some time until I made it past the crocodile moat and most of the defensive installations. Then, I pull the parachute hidden under my ex-royal cloak and safely float to the ground. There shall be revenge...

I get back to the village before the castle on the hill. After some searching around, I find a real herald of the King and make him disappear in a dark alley to get all his documents and the King's proclamations. Interestingly, the usurper declared everybody to be disallowed from entering the castle..? Well, I'm not patient enough to starve him out, so I decide to use the loyalty of his subjects against him and feed some crocodiles.

Taking the herald's clothes, I proceed to the town square, roll up some scrolls with commercials for local pizza bakers and make an appearance of reading them intensely, before lifting my voice:

"Hear thee, o people of the kingdom of the Hill. Thou King doeth proclaim all of his subjects to be banned from within the walls of the castle by pain of capital punishment."

After some murmuring of the assembling crowd, I go on screaming:

"And as an addendum by the legal power invested in the judges of the royal academy of laws, they have judged the inside of the walls to be... Oh..."

Some theatrical training comes in handy becoming white as chalk as fast as possible.

"... this has to be wrong, this cannot be!"

I keep on muttering and the crowd strains to listen to my every word.

"Thy king's royal judges have decided on where the 'inside' of the castle walls is and they declared it is here, thy village and all the rest of the kingdom and the world!"

Realizing that this is a universal death sentence, part of the crowd sits down whimpering. The brutish and not too intelligent town guards are confused enough to start arresting each other. I make my way to the tavern to let the uproar stew a bit and change clothing to look like a townsman. After a while, I return to find the first pitchforks to be swung and the torches to be lit. Crying with the people, I use my ex-royal charisma and reveal myself as the deposed king who was always good to them and nice and promises to lower taxes when reinstated. The cheering crowd following my every word moves with me at their helm to the castle. Since all his ex-loyal followers moved through the minefields out of the castle safely, finding the way back by the trampled paths is simple. The moat with crocodiles is easily filled by the army of the simple peoples' hands and a few hours of axes hitting the castle bridge, the fortifications pose to be useless without armed forces defending them.

When the crowd moves to deal with the king on the rock, I address them:

"Dear people of soon to be my kingdom, again! Please listen and have some mercy. This obviously delusional regent needs to be deposed, that much is obvious, but all of us should learn and at least appreciate a good laugh and the irony. Since he's outside of the castle with us, at the moment, by his own herald's proclamation, we aren't doing anything illegal. So as my first order, I ban him from the kingdom, reinstate the right of subjects to be within and without the castle and will reward the most loyal of you that helped me upon the throne to become my castle's guard and servants."

Having assured the future manning of the castle, the ex-king is deported to the edges of the realm and shackles are fitted to his feet and attached to his royal rock. Bypassers keep him alive with food and water and the royal treasury swells with income from the museum of living ex kings that is conveniently set up for that purpose.

As promised, taxes are lowered as refinanced by the income of the museum. With the income, the castle is repaired and the guards and servants are well-payed. Again, there is peace on the Kingdom of the Hill.

(You guys, this aint a scene, it's an arms race...)



I drool copiously, plotting revenge in-between bouts of madness. These rubber walls sure are chewy, but they definitely have a subtle flavor.

[Deletedforignoringthesurmountingofadefense]

(DOH, In all that text I missed the part where they got past the minefield. My bad... I'll edit the rules a bit to account for what to do in the event someone blunders like I did.)



Using my impressive leg strength that I obviously have since I put the rock there in the first place, I wield my throne, chained to it as I am, as some sort of leg flail and launch everyone in the air that I come across.

This, unfortunately results in many people landing in the minefield, which sets of a sort of chain reaction. Everyone gets blasted away.

With the minefield also goes the castle, and the surrounding town. All that remain outside the walls and moat surrounding the hill are craters and ruins.



I lose myself in thought as I ponder the nature of kingship without any subjects, but then I come to the conclusion that being king is all that really matters and I sit happily upon my rock-flail atop a hill surrounded by walls. ^_^

I find a bunch of currency laying around from the taxes of the previous king, and scatter it about the hill to start up a bit of a treasure horde. I pass my time pretending Im a dragon.