Rooted in History

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

8 years ago

Oct 5, 2016, 8:23:08 PM

In the end, Quercus broke the silence.

“The millennia have rotten your mind, Betula. You’re asking for worse than the re-enslavement of our people. Woodlings everywhere are right to worry about this meeting.”

“And your southern winter air has sealed your core in ice. Yes, here our people are free. Here anyone can gaze upon the nourishing light and not be found wanting. But have the millennia of regrowing our people dulled our memories? Have we forgotten what fruit we had hoped our efforts would bear?” Despite the vast distances between each of them, the rest of the Five felt Betula raise branches to the star-studded sky. “Do you not hear their pain, brethren, nor feel their hopes wilting at the scorch of their oppressors? Every seedling sown, every sapling grown, owe their lives to them. Their sacrifice gave us life. Our debt must be repaid.”

Through their Link, Tilia sent a wave of contempt. “And so you would have us snap their sacrifice in two and fling it for kindling? We are ancient, Betula, not senile. Countless scores have been burnt to ashes so that we might grow in prosperity.” Tilia sighed. “There is no waking moment nor rustling dream when I do not mourn leaving our brethren behind. None among the Five can say that the Uprooting had left them a branch ungnarled nor a bark unscorched. Do not mistake our silence for amnesia. Indeed, it is because we remember that we refuse your suggestion.” A pause. “What say you, Salix?”

Salix grunted as he watched another branch fall from his dying limb. “It is indeed a foolish endeavour, but so was the death of many to free the few. Now that our numbers have grown beyond counting, it is only just that we free the rest—no matter the cost.”

“Even if the cost is extinction?” Quercus countered.

“By the Giving Light, no one’s saying we should fling every last woodling into the fire, Quercus! Yes, the price will be steep, but what is the loss of a few branches if it would preserve the entire tree? As we speak, our people’s will grows strong. If even a seedling would roil at the thought of forced labour, how much more would our people revolt against the enslavement of others elsewhere?”

Quercus felt his bark stiffen in frustration. “Sorbus, you have yet to speak since this conclave began. Are you with us at all?”

Silence filled their Link for what threatened to be an eternity. Then slowly, carefully, Sorbus spoke. “Once, the Five had been Legion. In those times, through drought and scorch our people nourished one another with hope of freedom. Now, in freedom we grow and in slavery they hope. Just as roots bring nourishment to branches, so must leaves bring light to all. The eons of slavery have seen our boughs bent, but not broken. Just so, the eons hence shall see our people gathered once more; free, unscattered, and Unfallen.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Edit 3.0: Changed some names to avoid... some misunderstandings.)

Updated 8 years ago.

VIPDigitalhawk96

Mirror

継続は力なり。 (Keizoku wa chikara nari) Perseverance is power.

VIPDigitalhawk96

Mirror

32 800g2g pts

8 years ago

Oct 8, 2016, 12:47:00 AM

Very good, I like how you focused the story on a group conversation and on the five characters.

Its funny its five since I vaguely remember joking about if the five eyes were important or not and wondered which way people would fly on the issue if I won the Visual design.

The story leaves questions but such a thing is good - I assume for instance that the enslaved Unfallen are separated by some sort of "distance" considering the word "Milennia" has been used a few times, relating the issue of a group of enslaved Unfallen to a vast quantity of time distance; of course it remains that the slaves may cease to exist at this point in time, the empire enslaving them turned to dust long ago and many other mysterious inbetween misfortunes.

What I am trying to say is that such questions would make for an interesting questline and a variety of potentially cool reward branches in regards to the fate of the long lost brethren.

Good job.

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

Gloria Dei homo vivens!

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

8 years ago

Oct 9, 2016, 7:33:50 PM

Digitalhawk96 wrote:
Very good, I like how you focused the story on a group conversation and on the five characters.

Its funny its five since I vaguely remember joking about if the five eyes were important or not and wondered which way people would fly on the issue if I won the Visual design.

The story leaves questions but such a thing is good - I assume for instance that the enslaved Unfallen are separated by some sort of "distance" considering the word "Milennia" has been used a few times, relating the issue of a group of enslaved Unfallen to a vast quantity of time distance; of course it remains that the slaves may cease to exist at this point in time, the empire enslaving them turned to dust long ago and many other mysterious inbetween misfortunes.

What I am trying to say is that such questions would make for an interesting questline and a variety of potentially cool reward branches in regards to the fate of the long lost brethren.Good job.
Digitalhawk96 wrote:
Very good, I like how you focused the story on a group conversation and on the five characters.

Its funny its five since I vaguely remember joking about if the five eyes were important or not and wondered which way people would fly on the issue if I won the Visual design.

The story leaves questions but such a thing is good - I assume for instance that the enslaved Unfallen are separated by some sort of "distance" considering the word "Milennia" has been used a few times, relating the issue of a group of enslaved Unfallen to a vast quantity of time distance; of course it remains that the slaves may cease to exist at this point in time, the empire enslaving them turned to dust long ago and many other mysterious inbetween misfortunes.

What I am trying to say is that such questions would make for an interesting questline and a variety of potentially cool reward branches in regards to the fate of the long lost brethren.

Good job.

Okay, coming from you, that means so much! Yes, I definitely noticed the five eyes comment and I figured I'd make a council of five folks. It was a fun thing to play around with.

And yes, you hit the nail on the head. I was definitely going for more questions than answers in the end, which I hope would, as you've guessed, inspire faction quests. Although the idea of liberating slaves may not necessarily fit into the whole protection fantasy of the Unfallen, I was thinking protecting their brethren from slavery would be a cool twist on the idea. Idk. I'm just really honoured you even read my work. Thank you! :D

VIPDigitalhawk96

Mirror

継続は力なり。 (Keizoku wa chikara nari) Perseverance is power.

VIPDigitalhawk96

Mirror

32 800g2g pts

8 years ago

Oct 9, 2016, 8:49:31 PM

Yueran wrote:
Okay, coming from you, that means so much! Yes, I definitely...

I'm trying to give each writer a bit of my time and appreciation for their work, much like I did in phase 2 where I had a proper look at the other 8 designs and left a comment before focusing on my own. Since I've already invested myself in 2 out of the 3 phases and I have this week off, I see no reason why not to invest myself in this one as well.

The first phase I gave up on the notion of doing this, because it quickly escalated up to 200 submissions and writing a comment on each would have been a monumental task.

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

Gloria Dei homo vivens!

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

8 years ago

Oct 9, 2016, 11:57:15 PM

Digitalhawk96 wrote:
Yueran wrote:
Okay, coming from you, that means so much! Yes, I definitely...
I'm trying to give each writer a bit of my time and appreciation for their work, much like I did in phase 2 where I had a proper look at the other 8 designs and left a comment before focusing on my own. Since I've already invested myself in 2 out of the 3 phases and I have this week off, I see no reason why not to invest myself in this one as well.

The first phase I gave up on the notion of doing this, because it quickly escalated up to 200 submissions and writing a comment on each would have been a monumental task.

Regardless, it still means a lot that you think this way. Thank you for the feedback and for the thoughtful care to leave comments on everyone's works. :)

MODDevildogFF

Unfallen Founder

Creator of the Unfallen concept. "To move freely, one must be deeply rooted."

MODDevildogFF

Unfallen Founder

44 200g2g pts

8 years ago

Oct 11, 2016, 2:19:25 AM

I, too, like the direction this is headed in! The integration of the number 5 really nailed it for me, as DigiHawk said. Well done!

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

Gloria Dei homo vivens!

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

8 years ago

Oct 11, 2016, 5:44:48 AM

DevildogFF wrote:
I, too, like the direction this is headed in! The integration of the number 5 really nailed it for me, as DigiHawk said. Well done!

O_O Thank you so much! Absolutely star-struck right now. I can die happy. :D

Redmagewt

Mezari

Patriarch of the Mezari, Lord of the Shattered tribes, and acclaimed scholar of the Endless.

Redmagewt

Mezari

25 400g2g pts

8 years ago

Oct 11, 2016, 9:20:47 AM

You've done a great job, the script is awesome and the idea of a transcript of elders fits really well for the exposition.

also the concept is fantastic, Sci-fi has almost always covered the theme of enslaved sentients in some form, but the concept of enslaving sentient flora is actually amazing.

especially cool is the why, trees produce all sorts of amazing products, just think of what sentient trees could grow. especially in the endless universe.

Keep writing, its sweet.

Updated 8 years ago.

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

Gloria Dei homo vivens!

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

8 years ago

Oct 11, 2016, 6:10:29 PM

Keep writing, its sweet.

I totally needed this pick-me-up with NaNoWriMo around the corner. Thank you so much for the positive feedback!

DEVFrogsquadron

Broken

Frogsquadron / François (\franswa\) "I am tormented with an everlasting itch for things remote. I love to sail forbidden seas."

DEVFrogsquadron

Broken

52 300g2g pts

8 years ago

Oct 17, 2016, 3:15:31 PM

I enjoyed your story, although despite knowing where you're going with the latin tree names, I'm still going to have to object to Alnus and Pinus. The potential for confusion is just too great.

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

Gloria Dei homo vivens!

OmegaDerpington

Fanatic Enthusiast

8 years ago

Oct 19, 2016, 1:14:59 AM

Frogsquadron wrote:
I enjoyed your story, although despite knowing where you're going with the latin tree names, I'm still going to have to object to Alnus and Pinus. The potential for confusion is just too great.

I'm glad you caught on to the latin tree names. I totally missed the potential for confusion though! Now that I've seen it, it can't be unseen. I will have to look up new names now. Thanks for the heads up!

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