[FanFiction/Comedy]Galactic Action News - Report

((Note: I place full credit (or blame, depending on how well this goes over) on Steph'nie. She gave me the idea, so any mob that forms to hunt me down...It's her fault! *hides* ))

Report: "Super Heroes" Spotted Helping the Galaxy

August 3rd, 3012 A.D. (After Dust)

This is Galactic Action News -- Keeping you informed of galactic events (of action!)

Good morning, afternoon, evening, and/or night! Wow, aren't time zones across the galaxy fun to deal with? I'm Final Strigon, the last of the Strigons, as of the death of Semi-Final Strigon in our duel to the death last night. I'll be handling stories for former news anchor Miss Mayat...Masaui...Mermai...Err, your former Sophon news anchor. Sadly, his curiosity overwhelmed him, and he decided that he had to know what happened to the physical body as it passed the event horizon of a black hole. In a reportedly unrelated event, the United Empire has locked down the Lucy System, after a reported security breach of their research and mining stations around the black hole there.

But today/tonight's news is far more interesting. Something bizarre is going around the galaxy. Something that hasn't been seen since human left Old Earth for the stars. The old concept of "super heroes," or individuals possessing abilities far beyond those normal for any normal mortal, have been reported going around the galaxy doing...well, doing something. Reports are unclear, and I've decided to stop reading off of my holo-prompter! I can make this story much more interesting than that silly writer.

The first incident reported comes from our contact inside the Ministry of Security of the United Empire. Due to the nature of his position, Agent Reynold Ferex will not be named in this broadcast, nor will the fact that he's been faithfully supplying us with classified information for the past decade! Agen Fere---I mean, Agent X, if you are watching, we here at GAN are pleased to let you know we have teleported a thank-you basket to your office inside the Ministry.

Now, for the report:

An individual known only as "Nosferatiel," wearing a antiquated tench coat and fedora and announcing himself as a Cerberus of the Proposals, was witnessed inside the Office of Administration Proposals and Suggestions, subduing a number of villians who had broken in to fill the Empire's suggestion box with countless upon countless number of duplicate requests. He reportedly subdued these villians with a great understanding of physics, and numerous other topics, causing a multitude of minds to be blown multiple times in the course of the conflict. The duplicate requests were confiscated into an area he called "The Archives," after giving each subdued villian an information pad containing the original suggestion they were copying, before vanishing as Ministry security forces arrived.

The Ministry of Security denies any such incident has happened. Please tune in later today/tonight for secret footage off of their security camera, of this vigilante of originality in action!...Huh? What's that? Oh, interesting...

[shufflingofpapersisheard]

This just in! This "Nosferatiel" appears to have been the agent of a larger organization. A group calling themselves Amplitude, and claiming copyright to the supposed "Endless Space" that we live in, has announced that they are taking the galaxy under their protection. These super heroes are apparently known as "The Dev Team," and are aided by their loyal and trusted "Moderators." They are lead by the egnimatic figure of AmpliMath. We do not know if he has amplified mathematical skills. Based on the information they have broadcast, here is what we know:

A hero going by the name of "Slowhands" proved that his hands are, to the contrary, not slow. Security footage shows this figure appearing inside the Archives of the Design of the Galaxy, a large collaborative library that keeps track of the history of all we know, writing to completion various uncompleted databases on the Endless. Also included were brief descriptions of every known empire in the galaxy.

Note: In an unrelated event, official of the United Empire protest the notion that their empire is "evil."

Shortly after the incident in the Archives was reported, reports of another hero came in! A "SpaceTroll" (reports indicate that, no, the individual in question is not a troll from space) has been observed traveling the galaxy with another hero known as "Skamaks," visiting key regions to inform the people of this idea of Endless Space. However, tracking them down is difficult, as few of our audience members have reported being able to track them down.

Following these reports, and criticisms that these people are merely "awesome" for their actions, a new hero stepped onto the scene. Er, excuse me, heroine, I've been corrected. Going by the title of "Stehp'nie," a name of which I fail to think of anything creative or witty to pun off of, this figure asserted that they are not awesome, in a statement affirming that everyone part of this organization known as Amplitude are, indeed, super heroes.

Also of note is a large church that has sprung up recently in the galaxy. Called the Church of Alderbranch, once thought to be strange worshipers of an elder and very old branch of questionable nerdy/geekiness, has turned out to be instead centered around another of these Moderators named "Alderbranch."

Unfortunately, that is all we have time to report tonight! My boss is banging on the studio door, demanding that I vacate the studio and return to my desk job of shuffling papers, and let the real anchors (minus your Sophon, sadly) get back to work. Tune in next time, when I hijack the studio again to report on more of these Heroes of Endless Space! There are many more of them to inform you all about!

VIPFinalStrigon

Sheredyn

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