Before you read:

This is a very diffrent type of Fan-Fic than usualy I know some wont like this, but I perssonally do so please dont complain about the style to much. Feedback on how I could improve would be much appreciated!



~[STARTTRANSMISSION]~

ALPHA TEAM: Sir we found a HU-CAM, should we patch it into the net?



PILGRIM COMMANDER: Sure, techies should decipher it. We need to know what on Earth happened here.



: 30 minutes later :



TECH LAB: Sir you're in for a suprise... This footage is simply, disgusting. You will know when you see it your self...



: footage starts :



(Com crackles)

"This proffesor Dubolin, we need immediate help in lab 4! Xeno-7 has breached its containment hull! We have evacuated and intiated the containment protocol! Awaiting extracion!"



: HU-CAM helmet records multiple class 5 securty peronel rushing towards grav lift :



"This is security team 37, we are enroute for evac please stay put and reffer to youself as science team 1, over."



: HU-CAM records security team 37 aproaching air lock :



"Security team 37 to science team 1 we have aproached air lock 5. Open it up and-"



: Security team 37 gets interupted by unknown voice, voice is coarse and hard to understand :



"Come in sheep, come into my den, I wont bite... Promise"



"Indentfy immmediatley! Where is the science team!?!"



: radio silence for 30 seconds :



"ST-37 to HQ, we request 4 additional security teams and a medical team. We have lost contact with science team 1, presumed killed by Xeno-7"



"ST-37 this HQ, request denied X7 is extremly agrresive and further casualties will not be tolerated. Evacuatn of Omega Base will be iniated, please continue to you desegnated EVAC-SHUTTLE."



: HU-CAM records repeated banging on air lock 5, ST-37 observes air lock 5 for 5 minutes :



: Air lock 5 is breached unknown objects atack memebers of ST-37, ST-37 opens fire resulting in plasmatic smoke from gunshots :



: 5 minutes of silence, smoke slowly disaptes :



(not via com)

" I see the small fragile man trembling in fear... Seems like my sisters and brothers will enjoy the coming feast"



: Unknown object leaps out to kill rest of ST-37, HU-CAM intifies X7 walking towards garv lift :



(End of footage)



PILGRIM COMMANDER: What the f*** was that? Someone give me-



: Pilgrim Commanr gets interupted :



DEFENSE COMS: Sir we have multiple ships of unknown sizes aproaching us! Scans conclude to have multiple foreign life forms on board!



~[ENDTRANSMISSION]~



NOTE: Sorry for any grammar/spelling errors was in a hurry

Well done!

It's different - and good!



Hmm Improvements - make more? :P

Great! Im happy you have enjoyed this one, although I can see that there might be a few confusions with what HU-CAM is. In this, and most likely other, stories will use this so i should eexplain. A HU-CAM stands for "Heads Up-CAMera", it is attached to the interior of a helmet and at least one member of a squad will have a HU-CAM for documentation. Hope that clarafies a few things for some!



And dont worry there is alot more in store for this stuff! I will also be trying to do some normal fan fiction!

ZonalMegladon wrote:
Great! Im happy you have enjoyed this one, although I can see that there might be a few confusions with what HU-CAM is. In this, and most likely other, stories will use this so i should eexplain. A HU-CAM stands for "Heads Up-CAMera", it is attached to the interior of a helmet and at least one member of a squad will have a HU-CAM for documentation. Hope that clarafies a few things for some!



And dont worry there is alot more in store for this stuff! I will also be trying to do some normal fan fiction!

Good News!

You should definitely keep this going! The style keeps the reader in the moment, which is a big plus. Writers normally use this style to tell a story by conversation - a phone call. Your insertion of video descriptions in between the dialogue is actually very effective. Keep it up!